Monday, October 1, 2007

Reasons why I love Microsoft's Operating sytems

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I love playing games to put off all those other really important things I need to get done.

There's nothing I like better than to watch my hard drive defragment. It soothes and relaxes me.

After I do a fresh install, I love the hours of challenge provided by hunting down all the drivers for the devices windows doesn't recognize.

I feel like I'm saving the world from viruses when I install anti-virus software on my system. I'll be recognized someday for all the cpu cycles I've used to defend the world from viruses.

Spyware is a tricky animal, but I vow to kill it with my bare hands and drink it's blood. It's the thrill of the hunt.

I think it's important to support billion dollar corporations. Without people like me buying their software they wouldn't be able to control the world. I also love to support all the other billion dollar software companies that I buy my add on software from. It's very invigorating.

I like to reboot after every install and update. It makes me feel fresh and clean like a virgin. And it helps fill the voids in my life.

I like to see those beautiful blue screens that magically appear to me after I install new drivers. I'm always ready for a new challenge.

(Vista Specific) I'm click happy. I love to click and click. I don't care what those dialog boxes are saying. I just want to click some more. Thank you vista for fulfilling my clicking needs.

(obviously, this is satire)

18 comments:

carlo said...

Oh God, It was really funny!!!

Maarten Kooiker said...

Nice one :D

Anonymous said...

No way! I love Linux! I never did this much browsing when I used Windows!

I love having my hardware not work, and unlike Windows, I can't just install a simple driver! I love spending days looking for the right driver just to get my wireless card to work! Those guys who run "Setup.exe" and click "next" a couple of times are wimps! Hardware should be about suffering, not convenience!

I love trying to install software using apt-get and being told that lib6-glib.0.2.3 or whatever is the wrong version. Or that it can't install. This is so much easier than clicking a setup program that has its own libraries!

I love not calling a company on the phone for support! It's so much better doing it the Linux way; putting messages on dozens of websites, only to get flamed with RTFM. What manual? With a lot of open source, there IS no documentation.

Yeah, I love Linux a lot more.

Rudy said...

I use both OS for different purposes and I must say I enjoy your satire.

Good job!

3rdPartyMan said...

I like them because:

1) I can use any hardware I like
2) Windows users don't belong to a cult
3) I get to use the current version of almost every application imaginable.
4) I like having a development environment that doesn't suck
5) Even though I may have to search for them, I like knowing if there's a device driver for something, it will install on windows.

etc
etc
etc
etc
etc

Pertti said...

Windows blows and linux sucks

Anonymous said...

Loved what Anonymous said :D I am using Windows on my Desktop PC and Laptop (Vista SP1 to be exact) I am pretty satisfied with it..

On my Servers (there are 4 of them) I use debian etch which I use because I dont need IIS or MSSQL..

Although I love both operating systems (and yes I am okay with paying money for software) I loved your post :D

Anonymous said...

Being a win/MAC guy, I'd say that the windows OS is not without its faults. However, we must keep in mind that the OS was "designed" to work on such a vast array of machines that the issues we get with the multitude of hardware out there, is, of course expected. Linux is growing, and rightfully so, but please keep in mind that windows was designed for a different demographic. (Point-and-click) Rather than the Business world that Microsoft claims. And, to be fair, if you are going to point out why you love MS OS so much, let us know why you love Linux/MAC as well... to be fair and all.

R. Douglas Barbieri said...

I started to chuckle when I read the quote by "anonymous," but then he got to the part where he started trashing Apt. Sorry dude, but Apt is *the* killer Linux application, and it kicks Microsoft Installer's butt sore and red and crying all the way back to Redmond.

Since there is no system controlling the installation of DLLs, anyone can install anything. Apparently this is being addressed in Vista, but with a sort of government-esque approach--another patch on top of an already failed system.

Apt controls what gets installed where, is aware of *every* file installed or generated, and is the best tool for completely removing a package from your system, or making sure dependencies are installed correctly. Microsoft does not have anything that manages the system at that level. And since they never put out a standard, software companies install what they like into the System32 folder or whereever else. Microsoft themselves call this "DLL Hell."

Linux has the disadvantage of sometimes not having an up-to-date drivers for specific pieces of hardware, but when you get your system running, it's a more robust user experience than Windows could ever be, more secure, and virus free.

Of course, so is Macintosh these days, but Linux is free and more fun. :-)

Anonymous said...

It looks like you just don't know how to use a computer. Maybe you should take a class or something. Step 1, The Mouse; Step 2, The Plug. Take it slow. You don't want to hurt yourself.



This is like one of those annoying Mac vs. PC ads.

... yes yes we get it. You are too trendy and would die of utter humiliation if you were caught using a PC. Pure genius!

Anonymous said...

Everyone has their own taste in the OS experience. But please don't try to say my *insert your favorite OS here* doesn't get viruses. There is no such thing as a 100% secure OS (short of never turning on your PC). Every OS has bugs, hacks, viruses, exploits, and crashes. Some have less than others but everyone tries to blame MS for viruses but these things wouldn't exist if people didn't spend vast amounts of time creating them to P0wn your PC. Macs are hackable in less than 30 seconds (CNET does a challenge every year to prove this) Linux is the most stable but with 500 + distros floating around all the time there is no consistency.

There IS a way around every security measure. It's just a matter of whether people want to exploit it or not.

Anonymous said...

I like how being able to play games on your PC is now something MS is doing wrong.

Oooooh You really stuck it to those MS people now! At least I can't play games on my linux box. I just want to code and surf the internet for sites that don't require IE7.

B said...

OSs and their accompanying software/drivers/ are rather like a character in you have created in a MMORPG in a way in that you arrange and addend and attend each as if it were a living breathing organism that needs attention, and nurturing. You get your online character strong and durable and versatile. These are also good characteristics for OSs and to keep them righted they need a degree of attention as well. All OSs need some kind of attention/maintenance/human oversight and thank the Maker for that because a lot of smart folks would be out of jobs if this were no the case. That being said there is a fine line between a OS health regimen and a nuisance. At times Microsoft meanders along this line like tipsy hooker after a hard night's work. For the most part, Windows XP Pro is still the state of the art 6ish years after its full release and if you game or are a poweruser you must have XP. All those that differ are welcome to their learned opinion. What do I know? I'm just an old HI tec Hillbilly using Dapper as my primary system trying somewhat successfully to get some old Windows games to operate under WINE on my metisse PIII. This mongrel little box does everything I need it to with dispatch and with a little effort and research has been simple to setup. The online documenttation, software selection and open source sommunity support organ is getting better exponentially everyday(lots of step-by-step, how-to videos).
However, I can see why a novice or someone with lack of perseverance might get frustrated at times(these are folks that who may be familiar with Windows but have never used the msconfig, ipconfig, dxdiag commands in their entire cyberlife) Learning something new CAN be frustrating but that is an integral part of the PC experience regardless of what OS you utilize, Think about this, without the innumerable Windows OS inequities, the open source movement might not have grown so rapidly and become such a miraculous phenomenon of human cooperation. And another thing-I'll bet a majority of regular/converted/adept Linux users found out about it on a Windows-based system(Apple users are lifers and would never accept anything else, right?).

Anonymous said...

@Pertti

you said that wrong:

Windows blows and Linux swallows!

Get it right next time ;)

Amit Gawande said...

Great Work Dude!!! As they say thats the basic similarity between a comp and an AC. Both stop working when you open Windows
Even i love windows :P

Anonymous said...

Linx and MS are both great in their own respect. MS has fantastic plug and play, loads of APZ and loads of games. Where as, Linux has great servers, free software and some killer games.

However - on a day to day basis i use Windows XP, purely because it works with no effort, if it needs to update, it does it for me, if it needs patching, it does it for me. If i need some drivers, i can go to a site and find them without a Linux user taking the p*** because i have no idea as to what im doing.

Linux is more than an OS, its a cult, much like firefox. However it is a good up and coming OS, it needs a little more support and the users need to be a little less up them selves at times.

Just my 2 cents

Anonymous said...

Look, I'm not a big fan of Windows either (I run PCLinuxOS 2007 at home more on this later in this post), but you're stretching it. Let's see...
"I love playing games to put off all those other really important things I need to get done."
Well exactly. I like playing because I don't work 24/7. I dare you to run any recent good game in Linux in just as few steps as in Windows. Wine? No sir, it doesn't work out of the box. Cedega? Same thing. I know it because I tried to install some very basic games (educative software for my 3-year-old daughter) and I'm still fighting with it. And most of the Linux games just suck. There are exceptions (id software games, America's Army etc) but the "native" linux games...please. Speaking of educative games/software, I stumbled upon GCompris. Man is it ugly. And, it runs better (graphically speaking) in Windows (even though it's limited) than in Linux.

"There's nothing I like better than to watch my hard drive defragment. It soothes and relaxes me."
Agreed. However, I don't think disk fragmentation is such a big issue.

"After I do a fresh install, I love the hours of challenge provided by hunting down all the drivers for the devices windows doesn't recognize."
I don't know what hardware you have but it never happens to me in Windows. Oh wait it did...back in Windows 95. Seriously. On the other hand, Linux works fine for old hardware, but recent wireless network adapters are a big pain in the ass. I have an US Robotics 805416. It kept me away from Linux because no matter how hard I tried, it did never work (by "work" I mean with WPA enabled. WEP is just not an option). Until I tried PCLinuxOS recently. This good fella recognised it immediatly (ok I'll admit I had to point it to an ndiswrapper driver, but it suggested the right one, one that I had never heard of despite my "hunt", as you put it, for documentation), and it runs great in WPA mode. Note that I tried to use the same ndiswrapper driver in Ubuntu, and it just froze up in my face...
And I recently got a Netgear WG111v2 USB Wireless card, and even PCLinuxOS can't do anything for me.

"I feel like I'm saving the world from viruses when I install anti-virus software on my system. I'll be recognized someday for all the cpu cycles I've used to defend the world from viruses."
Look, viruses are a reality. However, just pay attention to what you download and where you get it from, and you'll be safe. Install a free anti-virus like Avast and you're OK. Don't use IE to surf will solve 75% of your malware/virus etc problems before they even have a chance to happen. Use Opera (no I don't like Firefox. It's ugly, slow, and to get as many useful features as in Opera I nedd 5000 plugins that make it bloatware).

"Spyware is a tricky animal, but I vow to kill it with my bare hands and drink it's blood. It's the thrill of the hunt."
See previous point.

"I think it's important to support billion dollar corporations. Without people like me buying their software they wouldn't be able to control the world. I also love to support all the other billion dollar software companies that I buy my add on software from. It's very invigorating."
Well, they're in their position because they were smart enough to get there. As for add-on software, I don't pay for any software. I use freeware for EVERYTHING I do. As a Linux/open source evangelist you should know that. And using such software also prevents spyware (see previous points)

"I like to reboot after every install and update. It makes me feel fresh and clean like a virgin. And it helps fill the voids in my life."
Agreed. Having to reboot the whole fringin' time is painful.

"I like to see those beautiful blue screens that magically appear to me after I install new drivers. I'm always ready for a new challenge."
Last time I had a BSOD was years ago. I don't know what you do to your Windows installation to get them frequently. But it's true that when they begin to happen, it really becomes a big problem. In the past I had several of them (Windows ME...preloaded on the cheap PC I bought) and I lost data. But I lost data because of Linux too (even though it partly was my fault).

"(Vista Specific) I'm click happy. I love to click and click. I don't care what those dialog boxes are saying. I just want to click some more. Thank you vista for fulfilling my clicking needs"
Indeed. That Vista thing is coming straight out of hell. It's the reason why I've finally decided to REALLY try to completely switch to Linux. And I must say that apart a couple of issues (games and wireless adapters) so far I'm satisfied. I find rdesktop for example even better than the built-in RDP client from XP.

"(obviously, this is satire)"
Ah, OK. :-)

To summarise, I'm not a Windows fanboy but I thought you were unfair on some points.

Cheers
Mr Andrew Nonymous

Happy Linux Guy said...

I don't think I was unfair on anything. My opinion is coming from working at a helpdesk where I see users having problems with windows all the time. Also, Installing new systems and not having even the NIC recognized by windows. That's ridiculous. Every time I've installed linux, the NIC was recongnized right off.